Learning to Ask for Help

I am a proud person.  I am proud in many different areas, but most of my pride lies in the ability to take care of my children on my own.  I provide food, shelter, clothing, and many other amenities, both tangible and intangible, to make their lives happy and stable.  I have found myself in positions lately where I ask myself, "Why don't you just ask for help?"

We lead a very busy life, full of homework, football practices/games, dance, gymnastics, church, and quality family time, not necessarily in that order.  I am one person, and I joke about being not only a full-time mommy and paralegal, but I also volunteer my services as a taxi driver, short-order cook, cheerleader, and maid.  Again, not necessarily in that order.  Most days while we are running ninety-to-nothing, one small kink in our schedule could send our whole world spinning.  You see, although I have become a great planner, I am far from an expert in that area, and very rarely have any kind of "plan b".  The necessary "plan b" formation was reminded to me when the sweet friend of mine, who takes K to practice Monday nights while I take B to dance, came down with the crud.  Although most mommies are super-heroes, we have yet to perfect the ability to be two places at one time, and, therefore, we had run into a big problem.  I had finally figured out that I could drop B off, run K across town, drop him off, grab their dinner, and be back to watch some of B's rehearsal before it was over when I realized "it".  Stop it, crazy lady.  There is no point in running yourself crazy, all the while missing big chunks of memories of dance and football, not to mention the gas guzzling involved, when you could just reach out and ask for help.  I am so blessed to have plenty of family and friends in town.  The worst that could happen is they would be unavailable and I would have to revert to my "crazy lady dash" as soon as my "paying job" commenced.  It all worked out just fine.  A wonderful team mom of K's football team was able to give him a ride to practice, and I was able to enjoy most of both activities that night.

Bottom line, it helps to ask for help.  That does not mean I am a weak person or less of a mom.  It simply means I am trying to be the best mom I can be, but I know when to admit I can't do it on my own.  Having the extra help even allowed time for B and I to drop dinner off at a fellow single mommy friend's house (the one with the crud) on the way to K's practice.  She, like me, was trying to be invisible and cook for her little family while feeling like poo.  I reminded her, which reminded myself, it is okay to reach out, admit you are one person, and ask for help.  There is no shame in a helping hand.  Us single mommies have to stick together :)

Does anyone else have this problem???

Sweet Dreams :)

For as long as I can remember, my mom would always sneak into our rooms before she went to bed (when she thought we were sleeping) and kiss us goodnight.  For as long as I can remember, I would dodge those smooches.  I would dive underneath my covers until she left the room.  I couldn't understand it.  Here I was, a teenager, and she felt the need to kiss me goodnight. 

Every night, not even out of habit, more out of nature, I tiptoe through the kids' rooms and kiss them goodnight.  For some reason, last night it hit me.  No matter what is going on in our lives, be it stress from work, an ugly argument I'm still stewing over, or just pure, utter exhaustion, the moment I see them peacefully sleeping, there is just this "pull" to kiss their sweet little foreheads, and all the bothers of the day melt away.  This is what I live for.  This is what I work so hard for.  I want to stop these moments and somehow preserve them in a jar, because I know someday way too soon it will be gone.  

Now I know exactly why my mom did what she did....

Homework...It's a Hate/Hate Relationship

I'm not even going to try to sugar-coat this one. I HATE homework. I always discourage the kids from using the "h-word", but in this case, there is just not a strong enough, reader friendly word to describe my feelings towards homework. And it's not even MY homework!! K brings home work to be done, for the fourth grade nonetheless, and it blows my mind. Between month-long science projects, letters to the Spanish Monarchs about exploration of the Texas land, and **gulp** division, I am very impressed that this Momma has not become a closet lush. Having an autistic child, we have to teach new concepts to him over and over until they finally stick in his mind for good. After a long day of work, evenings filled with football, dance and/or gymnastics, the last thing anyone in this house wants to do is homework. Throughout the week I get minimal genuine quality time with my little stinkers, and homework has really put a damper on this time. The most frustrating for me is when new concepts are brought home, with twenty different questions to be completed, and K gets that "deer in the headlights" look when I ask him to do the problem or answer the question. That generally means I am going to have to explain the problem and resolution to him. Oh Em Geeee. I do not, nor have I ever, want to be a teacher. Don't get me wrong, I have a very, very high respect and love for those precious angel teachers that train our future leaders, but that is most definitely not my calling. No sir. This is very apparent when I try to teach, or reteach, new concepts to K. Through an immense amount of patience, we somehow work our way through the work. So, in short, I would love to hear any other homework woes out there. Maybe you can help me feel like less of a crybaby. :)

New Life, New Blog

I have officially grasped single mommy-hood. There has been a roller coaster of emotions and events leading up to this point where I am finally at the "whew, we're here" stage. Through bad splits, court battles, tears and pure exhaustion, I finally look around at my life and really, honestly wouldn't want it any other way right now. What better way to kick off this newly refreshed outlook than with a new blog? None I'd say! I look forward to expressing MY thoughts, feelings and experiences in this beautiful ride, and use this blog as a way to vent and find inspiration and/or advice from other single moms. Let the fun begin!!!